Monday, March 13

I am as sorry as you are, Dimitri!

Before the lecturer arrives for the lecture, a stereotypically dressed young student revolutionary arrives and addresses the class.

In order to encourage us to come along to a free lecture his group is holding, he tells us about the civil unrest that has recently befallen the sunny latin American nation of Venezuela.

During his piece, he utters the phrase, "Venezuela is next on American hit list after Iran." My initial response is a mixture of 'huh?' and 'what?'. Apart from the massive breach of US central intelligence it would be for this cliche Green Left Weekly reading student revolutionary to actually have access to this 'hit list', I briefly couldn't comprehend why the U.S. would bother with Venezuela.

Iran is busying itself with the sort of nuclear energy program that only a lovable rogue nation like Iran cheekily persist with, hence America's more than passing interest in the affairs of the state. But Venezuela?

America has Venezuela at Number Two? At this stage I'm beginning to see George C. Scott sitting around an oval table in Dr. Strangelove's war room, "I sure wish WE had one of those Doomsday Machines." What could the U.S. possibly want with tropical Venezuela?

Perhaps the U.S. wants to harness the nation's seemingly unlimited supply of Miss World, and Miss Universe winners, with the nation holding five and four sashes respectively. This would allow America to more effectively fight it's long running and post 9/11, War on Ugly.

After a few moments I remembered that Venezuela is one of the worlds largest exporters of crude oil, and the sole South American member of OPEC - kind of like that guy in the Backstreet Boys.


Post a Comment

<< Home