Friday, March 11

Hi, my name is . . .

At the beginning of every semester there is the first tutorial in each subject, and with each first tutorial comes the first tutorial personal introduction. A few brief words spoken by either yourself or the person next to you, to describe yourself to the group you'll be rolling your eyes at over the sheer shitfulness of the tutor for the next 13 weeks.

This was largely inconsequential when I was a spritely 18 year old in 2001 - but as I've gotten older, and am still even now in a couple of first year subjects, this has become more and more of a reminder of the fact I'm older than I really should be, and still at uni.

Lets face it, I'm a week from turning 23. I'm still at uni. I'm verging dangerously into Mature Aged Student territory.

(Note to self: unmercifully pointing out the horrors of being in a tute with an overtly self confident mature aged student can wait for another post)

The introductions used to be able just saying hi, letting everyone know my name, so that three weeks later I was more easily identifiable as "That guy The Student, who's in our group, but never comes anymore."

Now it goes along the lines of the accounting tute I was in late last year:

"Hi, I'm The Student, I'm 22, I've failed this subject twice before and this year I'm trying to *not* fail."

As well as the personal introduction, occasionally you are introduced by the person you are sitting next to after a brief three or four minute run down of each other. This generally results in something along the lines of:

"This is. . . The Student. He's 22, he's trying to finish his Business Degree - and he has been at uni a few years now."

Given the opportunity to introduce them, I like to whack out a few old chestnuts like "Kate likes long walks along the beach and Italian cooking."

I guess reading back over this, it doesn't really encapsulate the way in which this small, rather pointless routine acts as this resonating milestone in my uni life. But sure enough, every semester, it reminds me of the fact that I really should have had my shit together by now.


Anonymous lily said...

I *love* the introductions at the beginning of the semester. Seriously, can you ask for a better time-wasting exercise than this?? And besides, it always helps you to learn the name of someone who is the target of your affections (or your loathing).

Incidently, i've done the "...likes long walks on the beach" line too... works a treat in making the students like ya but the tutor thinking you're a bit of a tool. :-)

11:49 PM  
Blogger The Student said...

I didnt think you spoke to people at uni lily?

11:25 PM  
Blogger Ruth said...

I also dislike the name thing, but it's imprtant to know what course people are taking. You need to know who the Arts/Law students are so you can ignore them and their smarmy faux-British accents, the Media students because it's not a real degree (unlike arts *cough*), the International Relations losers because they're clique-y and think they're better than politics majors even though they take all the same fucking subjects, linguistics majors because they're weird, and the Norwegians because they're hot.

1:42 AM  
Blogger The Student said...

Try calling a Norwegian "Eurotrash" some time!

Hey surely Tourism Management is the worst of the degrees?


I yearn to be a Politics major again.

1:53 AM  
Blogger Ruth said...

Yeah, but in politics the breakup of people in tutes from your latest post is more like:

People who say nothing - 10%

People who sometimes comment - 20%

Mature-age students who always do all the readings plus all the extra readings and use highlighters and keep everything in colour-coded folders and are condescending cunts just because they're older and therefore "wiser" - 30%

Blowhard know-it-alls who talk out of their arse the whole time - 40%

1:54 PM  
Blogger Kartar said...

I fucking hated those exercises. In my first year some tool of tutor had two people with my first name in our tute. So she just looked at me and said "Well to save confusion you can be ... (insert common nickname for my name)." I was like "I don't use nicknames. My name is fine just the way it is and if you are too dumb or lazy to tell the difference between me and another of your students you can go get fucked." Well I wanted to say that - instead I ended up being nicknamed for all of 1st year. Fucker.

12:53 PM  

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