Tuesday, March 22

Assignment Related Mental Wrestlemania

I've missed a deadline.

It's not going to cost me anything, but I have missed it. It's a small assignment worth 3% of my total mark in the subject.

Ordinarily, I'd flippantly say, "Oh well, I'm so flippant that I'll flippantly forget about it and just keep ploughing on flippantly."

But with this assignment, I am acutely aware of the role it plays in training myself to concentrate on not failing this particular subject.

It's like I'm constantly trying to outsmart myself, hoping to draw my latent nerd-uality forth from within me.

I've never been someone who is concerned with marks. I don't get a kick out of telling people I got an A in a particular subject - I enjoy more saying something like "I got 50 out of 100, just passed," and grinning cheekily. I think this is a monumentally fucked up way of looking at things, especially since it means my care factor for assignments is pretty low.

Through the earlier years of my, now lengthy, degree - I consistantly neglected to do assignments well or on time. I always managed to reconcile this by telling myself, "Hey, it's just one assignment, I'll get it done, and I'll still go okay in the exam." This of course creates the stupid situation, where I expel more energy stressing about an assignment than just doing it.

Of all the things that shit me about Uni, my chronic procrastination shits me most.


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