Malaise

'It's that time of the year..."


'...'


'...when The Student contemplates deferring uni again."


'But, he can't. He'll wind up being at uni until he is 25.'


'But maybe he feels marketing isn't for him. Maybe wants a change."


'Shite. A change to what? He's only thinking this shit because he wants an authoritative way to explaining away the fact he's lazy and unmotivated when it comes to doing study.'


'No. No. Maybe he needs time. maybe The Student just needs to kick back and relax..."


*sighs* 'We've been through this before. He's deferred before."


"Maybe he needs... Maybe he's needs to travel. Maybe he needs to backpack. Maybe he needs to 'just get away' - you know, see...the world. Maybe he needs to do all those things that people in directionless aimless lives tell themselves they will do in six months time as an antidote to their pangs of self doubt and fears of social obsolescence."


'Oh fuck up. He's a twat. He considers deferring because he doesn't want to do a single bit of study, turn a single page of a single text book, or show up to a single lecture. There's no great sea of melancholy, haunting stare into the distance shit about this - he's just fucken lazy..."


"Hey guys. What are you whispering about?"


"Hi - The Student, we're whispering about The Student."


"Hey man. Fuck.. why do we always whisper? Even when we're arguing. It's bullshit. I've forgotten how to speak at a normal tone. Why're you here anyway?"


"Oh I'm here to help you salvage this painfully self deprecating post with a punchline. The chick from the first series who also sang and played guitar and may-or-may-not have been pregnant is here too."


"Hey guys!"


"Hey, weren't you the pink Power Ranger?"


"..."