Saturday, April 30


(Yeah I'm here okay.)

Our marketing group assignment group finally met last week to discuss how immeasurably fucked we are.

The verdict: We're immeasurably fucked.

For the first four weeks the group existed, but never met. This is despite two (Left and myself) of the four person group showing up to every tute, the other two were never there. I'm not really a stickler for people being all on time and there and shit, so this is fine by me. One of two no-shows, Swaziland, wrote me an email which included the most sincere thing a fellow group member has ever said:

"I'm not going to make excuses, just let me assure you that I DO NOT intend to be one of those group assignment leeches after a free ride."

This is fucking great to read, because I was planning on being the free ride leech.

Last week three of us, Left, Swaziland, and myself, met to discuss how we would divide up the 4,500 word assignment. This degenerated into an hour of looking at each other and saying, "Hmmm..." and "Geezzzz..." Without going into too much detail, we have to prepare a creative marketing campaign for a prominent company of our choice. We switched from our original choice, Nike (the idea of Left and Unofficial Forth Member of the Group [4th]), to National (Australia) Bank - largely at my insistence.

There are two reasons I wanted to do this,

a) Nike is well known and has a set image, brand and slogan. NAB is well known yet has no commonly known image or slogan - therefore making it easier for us to develop a fresh campaign.

b) Every year 15 groups do Nike. We're not falling into the trap of picking the most popular company and thereby being compared to the 6 other groups who chose Nike this semester, and the other 908 Nike assignments the tutor has marked in the past.

This is similar to politics and history essays I have done in the past, where it's best to chose the question no one else is doing because it's easier to stand out, and the tutor isn't completely jack of reading 900 word essay after 900 word essay pitifully answering 'Is Australia a liberal democracy?' or 'Identify and analyse the causes of the French Revolution.'

(For the record I did essays on the role of third parties in the Senate; and on the Irish Revolution [yeah they had one too!].)

Left is a good bloke, but I couldn't resist baiting him:

The Student: "Nah come on mate, are you sure you're okay with doing National Bank? I don't want you sitting there at 10pm tonight saying, 'Fucken NAB - I fucken hate that student, stupid prick. I want to do Nike.' You've got to be okay with this mate, are you okay with it?"

Left: "Yeah."

The Student: "Nahhhhh. I'm sensing phonecall to the tutor complaining about the choice of NAB. I can smell it mate. I can feel angry drunken complaining to your friends tonight, late night complaining about that dick in your group who thought Nike wouldn't work out."

Left: "No. No, it's fine."

The Student: "Sure?'

Left: "Sure."

*ten minutes and random aimless conversation pass*

The Student: "Nah come on, Nike was like you're baby. You loved it. You’re hurting right now - you sure you're okay?"

Left: "Fuck, it's fine!"

Last week we resolved to go away and do our work and return today. Guess who couldn't make it for 'work reasons' today? Guess who realised two days ago he was meant to have about 500 words ready? Guess who slept in this morning? Guess who likes asking needless rhetorical questions for weak and almost nonexistent humourous value?

Right now the group is in a delicate spot, we are yet to shake out the lone group member who winds up doing 70% of the work. Each group assignment there is one, and we are yet to see who it will be. My money is on Swaziland.

It sure as fuck isn't going to be me.


Blogger Ruth said...

Groupwork assignments suck balls. I'm currently doing one where I'm annoyed at the group's enthusiasm. Because they're stupid. If they didn't care, I could just do the whole thing myself, and then it'd be done the right way. My way. But no, they have to arse up the whole assignment by writing pages and pages of total shite that will reflect poorely on ME.

1:44 AM  
Blogger mscynic said...

NAB are currently running a marketing campaign for their "mini" credit cards. They're trying to pass them off as fashion accessories that you wear around your neck. They have little paper ones in different colours that you can cut out and punch a hole in and wear around your neck to try them out. If you get the real thing, you can even purchase special NAB accessories like a funky chain to attach it to.

If I ever see someone wearing their credit card around their neck, I'm going to stab them in the carotid artery with the jagged edge of a broken bottle.

6:28 AM  

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