Saturday, May 28

Dropping off the radar.

Remember my bristling arrogance and blind rejection of a likely truth when I said 'it sure as fuck isn't going to be me' that does all the work?

April 30:

"Right now the group is in a delicate spot, we are yet to shake out the lone group member who winds up doing 70% of the work. Each group assignment there is one, and we are yet to see who it will be. My money is on Swaziland."

This week we had to hand in the 4000 word assignment, which regular readers may know, was on the NAB. For the last three weeks, no one had heard from Swaziland. For the two weeks prior to that, no one heard from me, the whole time Left has been there and abouts, and 4th has just floated, putting in the sort of effort consistent with someone who is basically here on exchange and likes to drink.

My attempts to simply ignore the group and then reappear two weeks from the end with exactly 1000 words and an excuse for my absence failed. At the meetings it was clear that Left didn't have the English skills to polish an assignment up, and that 4th was simply unwilling to put in the extra effort in and amongst his liquid pastime.

And Swaziland - Swaziland was nowhere, Swaziland had dropped off the radar, she was uncontactable. I blew my bet on Swaziland being the 70% workhorse in a big way.

On Monday, despite living on campus, despite having to walk a distance I have crawled drunk before, 4th failed to front up to a meeting that me and Left traveled an hour to attend.

Sadly, the poisoned chalice of doing the work fell to me - first priority was securing an extension and that meant selling Swaziland out.

The controlled leak was issued to the head lecturer. We emailed him to let him know that we hadn't heard from Swaziland, and that if she wasn't to show up 'tomorrow', we would need an extension. Swaziland showed up Tuesday, with a fleeting 'mental breakdown' being the reason for her disappearing off the map.

Being the benevolent guy that I am, I gave Swaziland the "look, just give me 1000 words worth of stuff, I'm not worried about anything else, lets just hand it in," ignoring the fact she has been nowhere for weeks. as we concluded the phone call she offered the parting sentiment of, "You know what, I knew you were going to be the guy who does all the work."

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Oh, and thanks for sending me what you described as a 'padded out' 438 words the day before the assignment was due - real nice.

Come Friday, me and Left had endured a brief misunderstanding about what equated to plagiarism, 4th was nowhere to be seen (although with a highly legitimate excuse), Swaziland hadn't replied to a text message and an email which put it in the nicest apathetic words I could muster that, 'Yes, we all hate this assignment, but no, your contribution was shite and you need to try harder,' Swaziland was once again presumed missing, and a 10am phone call to the tutor secured us an extension till Monday.

At the 3pm tutorial during which we (I) had agreed to give our ten minute presentation, Swaziland appears sprinting at the last minute, as if having just dashed to the tute room from a cave in which she just ten minutes before came back from the dead following her crucifixion at Golgotha the prior Friday.

We sat and watched two presentations prior to mine (ours) in which a girl who earlier in the year had cheerfully reminded everyone that this was her last semester of uni, delivered a presentation of breathlessly wanktastic presentation that can only be mustered by a student in the last throws of their degree - she had even created an Apprentice style name for her group. Lame.

I give my presentation, the tute is finished, and Left, Swaziland, and myself meet in the stairwell to debrief.

The Student: "We got an extension till Monday."

Swaziland: "Oh, well I did extra work, I made it up to a thousand, here's it is."

The Student: "No, email it to me."

Left: "Yeah - I'm sending through some stuff too."

The Student: "I'll fix it up on Sunday and hand it in Monday, just email it to me."

Swaziland: "Really, if you guys want you can tell the tutor to dock marks off me, I've been pretty useless guys, sorry."

The Student: "No, nah there is no reason to do that, I'm not worried about that - we all hate group work. Let's just hand it in and forget about it."

Swaziland: "Oh, come here."

Left: *blank expression*

The Student: "Wha..?"

Swaziland: *hugs the Student*

The Student: "..."


Blogger usch said...

"Really, if you guys want you can tell the tutor to dock marks off me, I've been pretty useless guys, sorry"

I'd so dock the marks.

8:53 PM  
Blogger amy said...

it's true. she really would.

11:07 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

Was all that really worth just a hug? You should have at least gotten a flirty text message or offer of "making it up to you any way possible". I think it kinda figures that you were the one to do all the work, seeing as you were so intent on it not being you.

7:04 PM  
Blogger usch said...

Yes, you made the fatal mistake of acknowledging there was work to be done.

10:08 PM  

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