Thursday, July 28

Poster Sale

At the begining of every semester, there is a poster sale at uni, I have a theory that the poster you buy pretty much describes the sort of person you are. With the substandard help of my camera phone, here's the slim pickings from this semester's poster sale.

Try hard, wannabe 'one of the boys'.
I've never understood how anyone who has actually tried Guinness would own a poster like this, only a down home sophisticated Khe Sahn enjoying wank, desperate to fit in with the boys, and eager to presume to have a higher level of beer appreciation, would have a Guinness poster on their wall.

The chronically undersexed.
No guy who is getting any has a poster like this on his wall - but hey, next time Suzie knocks him back at Barnight, he can consult reason #9 A beer won't complain when you take it's top off in a bar, and chuckle to himself as he drowns the screams of lonliness from inside himself with pot after pot of Tooheys New.

18 year old girl who lives on campus and has regrettable one night stands with the same guy.
After six month of regular, and occasionally unprotected, one night stands with the same guy 'Stevo' - and one time with his mate 'Rob' but they were drunk and nothing happened that really means anything anyway - this poster is one way that she plasters over the total lack of ruling she does when it comes to refusing the advances of said Stevo - and as of last Friday night, Rob, again.

The tragically unhip.
Owning the Best of The Doors doesn't permit you to put this on your wall.

See The chronically undersexed above, subtract everything from 'but hey, next time Suzie knocks him back at Bar night' onwards, and add 'and if he had any mates who didn't spend every waking hour playing Warcraft, he'd have a wingman to help him try and get some at Barnight.' in it's place.

Mildly overweight girls who never grew out of that 'phase' in Year 9.
Come on guys, he's been dead for ages. Dave Grohl has released a Christmas album in the meantime, Courtney Love is fat now, and you guys are still getting around with your white Nirvana MTV Unplugged t-shirts, excessive mascara and no idea. Owner of this poster may or may not think Jeff Buckley is also great.

The deliberatly mainstream.
A good mate of mine has one of these, he also owns cricket DVD's, Tommy Hilfiger polos, Nike ear rings, sensible pants, those not quite jocks-not quiote boxer shorts, excellent hair, and a 5ive CD. (Love ya Cavalier!)

Lonely 20 year old girl, with a long term boyfriend who lives interstate.
With no need to be attractive to the opposite sex at uni, Little Miss Boyfriend Who Lives Interstate can afford to be painfully crap, wear tracksuit pants all too often, and be totally self righteous about her friends relationships, because, hers is wonderful!

First year cinema students.
"Kill Bill Volume Two is clearly Tarantino's finest work. It compliments the first film, yet takes the story to new heights and shows us what a visionary he truly is."

Too unco-ordinated for cricket in primary school, too antisocial for football.
Everyone I've ever known who played basketball competitivly was always a little too self absorbed, and a little too unaware of how lame basketball really is. This poster, featuring the greats of the noble sports of basketball and er... boxing - Michael Jordan and Mohammed Ali - and is reminiscent of other great partners in their fields, like Tango and Cash, Fred and Ginger, Vodka and Orange.

Insecure white guys who have already got an Eminem poster.
No black guy bothers with the sort of angry bling bling and a big jacket social barrier that hoardes of under and overweight white guys get about in, mainly because they are too busy being popular with the ladies. I presume this is a tribute to black rappers poster, unless of course, they have brought out a cinematic remake of Fat Albert that I'm unaware of?


Anonymous shauna said...

hehhhhhhhhhhehehe... right on the money as always!

(did you buy any?)

8:13 PM  
Blogger The Student said...

Nah not this time, I have in the past tho.

They are just a purchase you soon regret really.

2:43 AM  
Blogger Erica said...

I've always been partial to that French poster "Le Chat Noir". It's always been on the expensive rack, however, so I haven't succumbed to purchasing, either at Monash or RMIT. What does this poster choice make me?

Oh, and I think you forgot to include that poster of two girls kissing that lots of lonely first years buy because they think that it is "beautiful", when really, they just want guys to get off on the fact that they have a poster of two girls kissing in their on campus accomodation.

11:00 AM  
Blogger The Student said...

I think the problem with the two girls kissing photo is that it's just TOO much. I was going to get a shot of it, but I was a bit 'hmmmm - what is the comedic value of this?'

I have bought one of those standard street signs with humourous anti female meanings beneath them one before, only to be promptly given another one by my ex.

I never knew I was that transperant.

11:26 AM  
Blogger mscynic said...

Hilarious. Your insight into the mindset of the uni student is most astute.

7:22 PM  
Blogger Enny said...

My name is EnnyPen and I own the Kramer poster.

I'd like to clarify that it was originally bought for my father but nicked to cover the purple and yellow stains on my door from the wrong type of blu-tac being used.

I no longer have that one, but what do you have to say about the fact that I also nicked (and have hanging in my wardrobe) the 'I want to believe' X-files ufo one? =o)

12:44 PM  
Blogger The Student said...


What I would say about that is that my mate ALSO owns the I Want To Believe poster.

No shit!

2:35 PM  
Blogger Enny said...

OMG!!! Joey?! From College?! Is that you?? You were in the Frat across the way! How ARE you man?!

heh heh =o)

4:34 PM  
Anonymous TJ said...

Oh God.

I have the 'Le Chat Noir' one.


In my kitchen.

I maintain that because I studied Art Nouveau as my major in college, I am immediately forgiven.

Besides, it has purty colours.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Jellyfish said...

I also have the Chat Noir one. Framed.



I bought it in Paris when aged 15 and I didn't know any better.

I've just taken it down and replaced it with a calendar.

*dies of shame*

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never used to put posters up in my room at home, but now I have two that I won at a screenings at Chinatown Cinema, a couple of obscure local band posters and print outs of some of the photos I have taken.

Thanks - Tim Chuma

3:19 PM  
Blogger Sabu said...

hahahaha that "chicks rule" poster is spot on. I can imagine the whole situation, the tears and that poster trying to offer some happiness to this whinge bag college dorm emotion freak.

10:30 AM  

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