Wednesday, August 24

Bill Bryson Sux 4 EVA!

Since no one wants to hear about my recent sojourn to the Tropical Far North, I'll spare you the details, other than to say that Gary Coleman doesn't have a scratch on the tan I am weilding at the moment.

I also wont tell you about the troupe of Karate competitors - who to a person cannot pick up,and also can't take a joke about Karate - No, I know it's Karate, I was JOKING when I said TAI CHI! I'll spare you the intimate details of The Woolshed - the Tropical Far North's answer to a meat market. I'll also avoid mentioning the words 'relaxing' 'hot' 'blue skies' 'rainy Melbourne' 'sun' and'local inbreds'.

I will however remind you that I have a MOUNTAIN of work to do when I get home, it's not like The Student doesn't suffer for his art you know!


Blogger mscynic said...


I CAN'T believe you went to the Wool Shed.

I was warned well away from that place. I suppose you went to Gilligans too?

The shame.

Anyway, will you be posting pictures of your tan? My ... friend wants to know.

12:14 PM  
Blogger The Student said...

I suppose if you're coming to Cairns for enlightened conversation, then you may as well stay in Adelaide, spoilsport.

We went to the Woolshed after approximatly four pieces of advice not to go there, so in effect it was a scientifica experiment to see if it was possible that the place could be as bad as it was foretold.

It certainly lived down to expectations.

Gilligans was a place we could never find, but it might be worth pointing out that it has been in the news here while we were here. Big Brother evictee and all round annoying pratt HotDogs has been given two charges of Public Disruptance after CCTV showed him receiving oral sex from not one, but two different women, in two different locations, here in the Cairns CBD*!

(*note sarcasm)

12:30 PM  
Blogger mscynic said...

You really were at the end of the universe, weren't you, if you didn't know that ALL of Australia knows about Hotdogs' indiscretions. Or, as he lay claim to it, "urinating in public."

Dude, last time I was in Cairns, I was staying with three, single, young and horny men. They were advised that if they wanted to get laid, they were guaranteed willing Swedish backpackers at the Wool Shed.

And even they didn't go there.

So .... did you pick up?

12:36 PM  
Blogger The Student said...

I only assumed that the Hotdogs thing was big news because a perma-permed Rob Brough told me so, ...survey says!

I was staying with three, single, young and horny men.


And even they didn't go there.

Because they knew you were a dead cert'?

12:43 PM  
Blogger mscynic said...

I'll answer your question when you answer mine.

I see you're making a dent in that mountain of work this morning?

Compassion Fatigue: When Uni students are brought to that point when they just go, "Oh for fucks. I JUST DON'T CARE about the plight of the Burmese, or the friggin' Chechens, or any other minority ANYMORE!"

*Goes back to commenting on blogs. Pretends to be studying and feeling compassionate*

12:52 PM  
Blogger snub22 said...

Hey, I'm heading to Cairns too...

With the family. The Adams family. Literally.

So I take it I shouldn't encourage my 17 year old underage brother to go to the Woolshed??

I also feel like crying because I either don't get the joke, or you're bagging the adorable and witty Bill Bryson (my fantasy surrogate uncle).

12:27 PM  
Blogger The Student said...

Adorable and witty?

Basically I'm taking the piss out of travel writers.

Take him to the Woooollshed, was him down.

(Wash him down!)

4:32 PM  

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