Thursday, July 28

Poster Sale

At the begining of every semester, there is a poster sale at uni, I have a theory that the poster you buy pretty much describes the sort of person you are. With the substandard help of my camera phone, here's the slim pickings from this semester's poster sale.

Try hard, wannabe 'one of the boys'.
I've never understood how anyone who has actually tried Guinness would own a poster like this, only a down home sophisticated Khe Sahn enjoying wank, desperate to fit in with the boys, and eager to presume to have a higher level of beer appreciation, would have a Guinness poster on their wall.

The chronically undersexed.
No guy who is getting any has a poster like this on his wall - but hey, next time Suzie knocks him back at Barnight, he can consult reason #9 A beer won't complain when you take it's top off in a bar, and chuckle to himself as he drowns the screams of lonliness from inside himself with pot after pot of Tooheys New.

18 year old girl who lives on campus and has regrettable one night stands with the same guy.
After six month of regular, and occasionally unprotected, one night stands with the same guy 'Stevo' - and one time with his mate 'Rob' but they were drunk and nothing happened that really means anything anyway - this poster is one way that she plasters over the total lack of ruling she does when it comes to refusing the advances of said Stevo - and as of last Friday night, Rob, again.

The tragically unhip.
Owning the Best of The Doors doesn't permit you to put this on your wall.

See The chronically undersexed above, subtract everything from 'but hey, next time Suzie knocks him back at Bar night' onwards, and add 'and if he had any mates who didn't spend every waking hour playing Warcraft, he'd have a wingman to help him try and get some at Barnight.' in it's place.

Mildly overweight girls who never grew out of that 'phase' in Year 9.
Come on guys, he's been dead for ages. Dave Grohl has released a Christmas album in the meantime, Courtney Love is fat now, and you guys are still getting around with your white Nirvana MTV Unplugged t-shirts, excessive mascara and no idea. Owner of this poster may or may not think Jeff Buckley is also great.

The deliberatly mainstream.
A good mate of mine has one of these, he also owns cricket DVD's, Tommy Hilfiger polos, Nike ear rings, sensible pants, those not quite jocks-not quiote boxer shorts, excellent hair, and a 5ive CD. (Love ya Cavalier!)

Lonely 20 year old girl, with a long term boyfriend who lives interstate.
With no need to be attractive to the opposite sex at uni, Little Miss Boyfriend Who Lives Interstate can afford to be painfully crap, wear tracksuit pants all too often, and be totally self righteous about her friends relationships, because, hers is wonderful!

First year cinema students.
"Kill Bill Volume Two is clearly Tarantino's finest work. It compliments the first film, yet takes the story to new heights and shows us what a visionary he truly is."

Too unco-ordinated for cricket in primary school, too antisocial for football.
Everyone I've ever known who played basketball competitivly was always a little too self absorbed, and a little too unaware of how lame basketball really is. This poster, featuring the greats of the noble sports of basketball and er... boxing - Michael Jordan and Mohammed Ali - and is reminiscent of other great partners in their fields, like Tango and Cash, Fred and Ginger, Vodka and Orange.

Insecure white guys who have already got an Eminem poster.
No black guy bothers with the sort of angry bling bling and a big jacket social barrier that hoardes of under and overweight white guys get about in, mainly because they are too busy being popular with the ladies. I presume this is a tribute to black rappers poster, unless of course, they have brought out a cinematic remake of Fat Albert that I'm unaware of?

Wednesday, July 27

Campus Fashions

Standing outside a lecture theatre yesterday, a guy from the lecture preceding mine smugly walked out with a group of friends. His addition to his headwear caught my eye. I watched the guy walk ten metres, expecting him to rectify the situation - but this was no spare of the moment thing, this fashion crime was deliberate.

Allow me to reinact it for you below.


Did I miss a meeting? When was this tabled? I don't recall reading 'people can now act like cocks with stationery' in the minutes.

Tuesday, July 26

Uni goes LIVE.

I'm posting from uni, hoping to encapsulate the unbridled excitement of my first day back for this semester.

SQUEAL at the terrifying array of bad haircuts!

CRINGE at the sad faces of desolate students!

DISMAY at my inability to make this sound remotely amusing!

True to form, I slept in the morning, unable to get out of bed in the face of the cold wet day and terrifying array of learning that awaited me at uni.

I've successfully negotiated my way back into studying politics, which I can honestly say is excellent, not least of all because I'll have more arts (picture bad hair, and even worse vocal opinion) based blog content, but because it means I can write an essay again.


It also means that I am in class with Ruth, which will no doubt see us trying to 'out-cynical' each other during lectures.

Believe it or not, I'm about to hit a library stall and do some study, not because I want to, but because the library is the ONLY warm place in the entire uni.

(Right now, there is more of me talking here.)

Monday, July 25

University Life Glossary Term #10

Mid Year Holiday

The eye of the storm.

Friday, July 22

I've been meaning to...

Uni is back next week, and I couldn't be in a less welcoming mood. The prospect of going back is reasonably bleak. This year, moreso than most, I really feel like I haven't had a holiday at all, I've been working and working and working.

My results were to be expected, but I have a suspicion this semester will be better. Here's to hoping there's no more group assignments.

I feel tired and's like I haven't left uni.

On Monday I have to go and change all my subjects, with this semester finally heralding my return to studying politics. It's good to be able to study some non business subjects again, get away from the boring monotony of numbers and cumbersome economic theory.

I can't say I'm looking forward to Monday, standing in a queue with the tens and tens of other students, fiddling with the carefully constructed timetable, dreaming of my bed at home, fantasizing about the guilty pleasures of sleep. At least Monday is the start of the third last semester (fingers crossed) of this long and debtful journey towards a degree.

Friday, July 8


Despite the miseries.

The lessons learned from history.

The pattern still repeats.

Never to surrender - don't you ever retreat.

So how far have we really come?

To the ones who are leading us?

Make peace their resolution tonite.

Make peace your resolution tonite.

There's an arms race to be run.

Building bigger better dagger headed bombs.

So lets drink to the daughters and sons.

Never to return to their mothers arms.

So how far have we really come?

To the ones who are leading us?

Make peace their resolution tonite.

Make peace your resolution tonite.

For every battle lost and won.

Are these the ones that we offer up?

So how far have we really come?

To the ones who are leading us?

Make peace their resolution tonite.

Make peace your resolution tonite.

Sunday, July 3

Vale (I've always wanted to title something with the word 'Vale')

It's important I acknowledge the last post (and chorus) of UK (nee Japan, nee Melbourne) blogger Momo.

I can get away with this because when writing a media essay on the 'emergence of the internet' a few years ago, I actually interviewed the popular 'Melbourne blog identity' for the essay. Interviewed, as in, on the phone, as in, semi real life, which was quite an 'emergence of the internet' experience.

Momo is best example I could give you of a blogger who is effortlessly stylish and admirable, yet not up herself - something many authors of internet web logs aren't. Her blog has been something I have enjoyed reading for a long time, and I will miss using it to avoid study.